Baby Trick
by Sugaby
Summary: Haruka and Rin go on like they're pregnant to trick Makoto and Sousuke and get unpredictably perfect reactions.


**AN |** _Written after a random dialogue generator came up with "I did a pregnancy test" on the first try, which, coincidentally, regards to the meme going, strange._

_I ended up not including a scene for reigisa, sorry. But, if you're curious, it would've played out like this: __Rei would've said "It's unorthodox" for Nagisa to be pregnant when he's a boy and Nagisa would've then asked "So I'm unorthodox?" and then Rei would give a long, fully-detailed speech about how Nagisa is the most non unorthodox thing ever, and that'd lead to a confession about how maybe it's not so illogical if he's in love (with Nagisa).  
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_Enjoy._

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><p>Haruka announces it out of nowhere while they're getting through school work together in the room he knows almost as well as his own, nonchalantly, like he's talking about the weather or something he happened to see the last minutes of on TV the other night:<p>

"I did a pregnancy test."

And Makoto, the target of a charade he wouldn't have thought his childhood friend to be capable of scheming-bless him, stops writing and raises his head. His face is expectedly quite the picture too. What on earth is he even supposed to say after that? The equations he was working on go out of his head and get replaced by nothing, he just tries to figure out if what he's hearing is code for something else, because this, Haruka announcing that he's taken a pregnancy test, it's larger on the unorthodox scale than his about to put a wrong solution to an equation.

"That's, uh, kind of unusual." Makoto says, after a time. "Why, Haru?"

"Just because."

"Yeah?" Makoto asks but doesn't get an answer. "I get that you might've been curious, but to do something like that...it's a little odd even for you."

Haruka leers from across the small table in suspicion he's being directly insulted. "What do you mean by that?"

"A-ah, no!" Makoto panics, hands waving about and head shaking as he desperately tries to correct his mistake. "I just mean that you tend to really go for what you want, don't you?"

"You're a shitty liar, Makoto."

"I'm not lying, I swear!"

Under his breath, Haruka mumbles about Makoto indeed being an awful liar because his voice goes higher and out of pitch, and because he'll look everywhere but directly at you, and he mumbles, too, about his tendency to be wishy-washy.

"W-What were the results anyway?"

"I'm a man, I can't get pregnant."

"Obviously, we both knew that already. Why take the test then? Or is it because of that dumb pregnancy meme going around on the internet?"

"...You think it's dumb?"

"Well, yeah?" Makoto guesses, a light shrug accompanying. "It's silly. And why are most of the edited pictures guys?"

"Why not? Is it weird to you?"

"It's not like that, just...

_Just what? Likely another excuse_, Haruka thinks, _more vagueness on behalf of Makoto's search for an exit out of the conversation_. It's understandable he'd prefer an evasive tactic over hurting a person's feelings, but it's annoying-isn't it better to be clear and straight forward, to not leave anything out?

"Makoto," Haruka calls as he pulls out a white and blue stick from his pocket and holds it up, showing him the side that uses an x or an o to represent negative or positive. Thumb covering the results, and ignoring the unloading questions of why he still possess the stick he peed on-it's unsanitary!, he talks, "Let's say I am pregnant. What would you say and do then?"

"Haru, are you crazy?! Put that away, you don't carry things like that around with you!"

"Show me the face you'd make, Makoto. I want to know. Would you be happy? Sad? Or disgusted with me?"

"I could never be disgusted with you, Haru!"

With that being the case, Haruka crosses his arms and waits for an answer.

Makoto's screwed, but it's not too late to save himself. He takes a deep breath to calm himself and closes his eyes so he can properly see the scenario: the two of them together, Haruka telling him the news of his pregnancy, seeing the face he can feel himself making at this very second. And when he opens his eyes, he presents that expression.

"Haru," Makoto says the name so sweetly, with a sincere smile under his serious gaze, and the glimmer in his eyes risk the fall of happy tears; if he's ever looked happy, it's not been like this. "I'm so glad for us. Thank you for this wonderful news. Let's both be really good parents to our baby, okay?"

It's not exactly what Haruka was expecting,

...It's better.

Haruka, awed, turns away with warm cheeks. "...It's good. But I don't remember saying the baby is yours."

Makotos ecstatic expression drops. "What, no way?!...Then who? Nagisa? Rei?"

"No."

"Don't tell me...is it Rin?!"

"That's not even funny."

"But we don't know anyone else, do we?!"

"It's Yamazaki's."

In that moment, it feels like everything's stopped-not just the plan to do homework, but Makoto's will to breathe, or to blink, or to think of anything that isn't Haruka's pretend baby.

"Yamazaki..._Sousuke_?" Makoto asks to be sure (ignorant to the fact they don't know another Yamazaki). "_Him_? Haru-chan, why?!"

"Don't call me that. And why are you so shocked? It isn't like Yamazaki's bad looking."

"It's not about that!"

"He's tall as well, and a good swimmer, and he really looks out for his friends like they mean everything to him."

Makoto feels insulted, and the hand wrapped around his pen tightens while he smacks the other down on the table; in frustration, he cries, "And?! Aren't I also all of those things? I'm a good swimmer! I'm not a model or anything, but I look alright! And you've always meant everything to me, Haru, just like our baby would!" The outburst has him succumbing to a creeping exhaustion from having to fight his own corner for something that's not even happening realistically, but technically and metaphorically and emotionally in all the ways it matters more in comparison.

Haruka just observes his friend trying to breathe steadily again and coming to terms with his irrationality.

It's unlike any man to be pregnant though.

Like how it's unlike them to not-for any circumstance-be together.

Nonetheless, Makoto's hard how he sounded in a play back, and he's ashamed, he's regretful. "...Haru...I'm...Sorry." He apologies, panting.

"I saw it."

"Huh?"

Haruka elaborates, "The face you made when you reacted to my pregnancy. I liked it, a lot. You sounded prepared to go above and beyond for the baby and me, you sounded like a decent father."

"...Y-Yeah, of course." Makoto shies at the compliment, which he didn't expect, especially this soon after his furious outburst. He tentatively rubs his nose and then pulls at a loose bang, and his eyes avert elsewhere. "I mean, my dad's pretty great, and so was Rin's. And...I know Nagisa and Rei think of me as the dad of our group."

"They think of you as the _mother_."

"The moth-? Why's that when I...?" Makoto's voice breaks at the last syllable, so, embarrassed, he clears his throat and lets it go-it isn't important at this current time-and he straightens his posture and looks at Haruka, all serious. "I still don't like that I was yelling at you. But really, I...all I could think about was wanting to be there for you and the baby, whether or not it's to Rin or Yamazaki, or even Kisumi-"

"Don't _fucking_ go there or we're done." Haruka warns.

"Sorry." Makoto was careless. He rubs at the back of his neck with clammy hands. "I just want you to know, I'll always be here for you, Haru-chan. I've felt like that since we were little, ha..." He does a cute chuckles as he puts his arms down; honestly, he looks helpless.

"Thanks," Haruka smiles. "You'll make an amazing father one day."

"I hope so. And if I'm lucky my partner will be amazing as well. Oh, speaking of! I know Rin mentored Nitori for a while; he wouldn't make a bad father either. Hm, and Rei's got a lot together and is very informative so he takes care of himself. And Nagisa's energetic and fun so our child would have a lot of great times."

"What about me?" Haruka notices he wasn't included in that list of potential good partners.

"Mm, Haru-chan too, I suppose.

He _supposes_? That's it?

Haruka sighs into a frown, irritated at the lacking response. "Trust you to say something like that. You're so fucking wishy washy, Makoto." It shouldn't be hard to compliment him in the concept of being a partner or a co-parent, his independence can't be ignored-he's lived alone and done all the household duties by himself all through high school, for goodness sake!

"I'm sorry." Makoto ducks his head a bit under the pressure. "Haru would make an amazing dad too." He compensates, but then goes back to listing their friends' parental capabilities. "_We all_ would, I know that. But Rin, in particular, he seems really reliable, don't you think? I know he had a rough time last year, but even then and now, he's been determined to do his best; he hasn't allowed himself to give up. Those traits in a parent would be really great. And whoever he ends up with will be lucky."

Haruka doesn't know what saying all of that is meant to mean, in the end, but he doesn't like that it's all for someone not even in the room, someone who isn't- -no offence to Rin- -_right_ to co-parent with Makoto in the ways that he, someone who truly knows him and can communicate with him without words, is.

"Forget it, you're not having a baby with Rin."

"What's wrong with Rin?"

"Nothing, I just think you're better off with someone else-someone you know."

Makoto looks at him funny, raises an eyebrow, and Haruka _hates_ it because it looks like he's crazy "I know Rin. I've known him nearly as long as I've known you."

"It's not the same as knowing me though, is it?"

"...But I thought...? A moment ago, you were saying you'd have the baby with Yamazaki!"

"Nevermind what I said _then_, you only need to listen to what I'm telling you _now_!" Haruka's fed up of having to piece everything together. "It's not the same unless it's with you, Makoto!"

"Haru..." Makoto reaches across the table and over their neglected school text books to place his hand over Haruka's. "You're not alone. I'm grateful to whomever I end up with, but there's not another person alive who knows me like you do."

Those words put a sparkle in Haruka's eyes and it's like he's swimming in a pool of cherry blossoms again; incredibly relieved and happy, and without words to express the way he feels. But then, _Makoto_..._he_ gets him generally and he doesn't even need to breathe a syllable.

It's a little overwhelming, sometimes, how powerful their bond is: the connection no one else knows how to decipher or replicate.

It's theirs, as their baby-adopted or surrogate-would be.

For a time, they're silent, then go back to working hard at the table, scratching sounds of pens against paper and flickers of pages being turned, and the hands of the clock above their heads, overseeing their time together, moving to the next hour.

It's ten minutes to midnight: the end of Halloween.

Haruka eyes it, then looks across the table and says, "Makoto, do you know what today is?"

"Hm?" Makoto mumbles, only half listening until he finishes an equation. It looks alright, not _horribly_ wrong, so he's okay to look up at Haruka and answer him, "Let's see...today is October thirty-first, right?" He assumes it's a casual question, but the long stare he's getting tells him to think about it more. What really gives it away for him is the pumpkin and witch's hat Haruka furiously doodles on the side of his notebook for him, his way of asking that he _hurry the fuck up_. "Ah! It's Halloween!"

"Yes."

"...I get the feeling that's supposed to mean something."

Haruka says, "I tricked you with the pregnancy thing."

Makoto figured as much from the beginning. "That's not a very nice trick, Haru! I would've preferred a treat instead." He thinks about his younger siblings are undoubtedly patrolling the neighborhood and receiving candy and compliments on their adorable, matching outfits.

"I thought so," Haruka smiles, and the smile unfolds with a devious curve. and there's an added length to it-almost like the unfolding of a devious curve. "That's why, once we're done working, we're gonna do it."

"Do what?"

"Have sex."

"H-Haru! That's...!" It's said so easily, so blatantly straightforward that Makoto almost feels silly for blushing like a tomato. "...A-Are we even ready...for that? I mean, we...t-to bring it up, out of nowhere...isn't it better to discuss it first and consider everything involved?"

"Whatever. I can always just go over to Samezuka and spend the night with Yamazaki." Haruka supposes in a 'it's not a big deal' tone. He's doing it again, tricking Makoto, and at the same time, luring him into becoming hysterical and jealous again. And it's working. "I'm sure he'll tell me to get lost, but I won't, so he'll be pissed and push me against the door and-"

It happens fast and pens fly, books get thrown off and land in sprawled out heap, and the table is almost flipped sideways as a diligent Makoto moves across to grab Haruka's wrist in restraint, and use it to pull him in for a kiss; the forceful connection numbs their lips white. Haruka can't breathe, but for the entire time he had the nerve to go on about being Yamazaki Sousuke's _booty call,_ _Makoto_ couldn't either. Haruka comes to lose his desire to struggle, and keep his lips shut in protest. Makoto slips his tongue inside and takes in every sound Haruka makes. The kiss is rushed and a mess, but nevertheless, it's Makoto being passionate about what he wants and going for it.

"No," Makoto says when he pulls away, but hasn't released Haruka's wrist yet. "Never! Absolutely not! I won't let you!"

Haruka sighs a little, "Makoto-"

"Do you hear me? I said that I won't allow it!"

"Makoto," Haruka says with more force as he gently holds Makoto's face in his hands. He kisses a cheek, and the other, then his nose, and his lips, he presses their foreheads together and exhales a laugh through his nostrils. "Happy Halloween."

"Eh?..." Makoto blinks, settling down, blushing as inconspicuous set up makes sense to him. "Haru, you were way too mean!"

"Sorry." Haruka smiles and entwines his hand, the one previous restrained, with Makoto's. "I'll be sure to make it up to you with a treat this time.

...

At Samezuka Academy, Rin is attempting the same trick on his roommate.

"I took a pregnancy test just now," he says with the serious face he practiced on the way back from his morning jog (he's still dressed in his running gear with his hair tied up). News like this can get a number of reactions; he's expecting Sousuke to leap from the bed, in hysterics, and yell a lot of questions.

But, Sousuke, relaxed and lying on his back on the bottom bunk, doesn't move, speak or even look at him.

It's pissing Rin off, to be honest, because who doesn't react to someone- - _a man_ being pregnant?! If he's happy, he needs to say 'congratulations'. Or if he's confused, he should ask him about it. And, if by chance, he's repulsed, he should still speak about it.

"_Teh_! Well, say something then!" Rin shouts at him.

"Rin, you..." Sousuke taunts him with the silence, leading him on to believe he'll react appropriately. "You must've hit your head on the run."

"That's not it, I'm fine! But what's with you?! I tell you something serious and you just-"

"Sorry, I just don't usually hear guys saying that they're pregnant."

_'Bastard...'_ Rin curses, grumpily. This isn't going at all the way Haruka told him it would. "Oi, you better sit up and take responsibility because you're the father!"

Sousuke _does_ look at him, this time. "You really did hit your head." He says again as he stands up, heading to the door.

Rin frowns, hurt and disappointed. His brows knit as he tries to figure out why, for all the years Sousuke's had his back, he's choosing to walk away from him. "Fine, leave then! It shows just how much of a shit father you'd be!"

Sousuke stops at the door with his hand on the knob in mid twist. At first, Rin thinks he's gone and cocked it all up; blown this stupid trick out of proportion and crossed a line to make an enemy out of a good friend. Sousuke turns around, and he isn't mad-in fact, he's got his gorgeous, half dazed, smile on; he's amused, if anything. "I'm going out to buy us a soda," He explains, crushing the red head's negative assumptions. "I'm not walking out on this or anything, I need time to get my head around it and decide what I'm going to do. But, you should know I definitely won't run out on you or the kid. So, I'll buy us some sodas, and you can tell me everything."

"...Sousuke..." Rin says, filling up with relief and happiness-and, apparently, something else, according to Sousuke.

"Man, it doesn't take much to get you bawling does it?"

"Shut up!" Rin snaps and chucks his pregnancy stick at him, _misses_, and the embarrassment of that and his crying dye his complexion a shade close to his hair color.

Sousuke laughs and walks to stand in front of him. "More importantly, did you think I'd just go along with everything? I know it's Halloween."

"Exactly, and I tricked you good!" Rin grins; he'll take Sousuke's cooperation with it at the end as a victory. "Happy Halloween, Sousuke."

"In that case, you can buy your own soda."

"Hey, then it's no fun. We can just do the usual: rock, paper, scissors. Loser pays."

Sousuke smirks, rolls back his shoulder, and sticks a hand out at the ready, "You're on."


End file.
